Kangen

Kangen
Cuma itu

Dear You

Everything that I wrote on this blog are still felt by me
How can my feeling and love for you haven't changed?
Not after our fights, our tears, or anything else
And not fading away after all this time

I love you so much and it's true :(

The Reasons Why 2

A friend of mine told me to get you back again if you're really the one I want. Maybe until I have no energy and love left.
But honestly I'm not ready to do it again
I've done it, not once, but twice
They ended up with me broken,
again and again
I'm not ready to be broken again
I still have much for you but you don't
Even deep down inside I wanna do it,
I don't know how and I'm not sure I can
Actually I wanna prove to you that,
I'm better now
I can balance you
I can love you better than before
I can be more patient
But I don't have any chances to do those
I have so much to give but you don't want mine anymore
It's sad but the fact
How hard I deny or fight it, it will bite me back
And I'm not capable to accept that kind of hurt anymore
Yes, I admit that I'm weak and I love you so much
But still, I don't wanna disturb you with my selfishness
It's not love but just an obsession

The Reasons Why

You are a PERFECT FIT for me

The one who doesn't put any interest in technology
Always asks me about it
Who considered my opinions though I'm ten years younger
We could chat all the time without getting bored,
talked and shared about everything
We were romantic and sweet
You appreciated my efforts and loved me in a perfect way
You responded to me and my problems very well
Maybe I'm exaggerating this thing
Because if you were the right one, we would still together now
But I'm sure you understand this
You're really my type
Beautiful, flirtatious but not too sassy,
hard worker, smart, a very good listener,
and you mixed up well with my friends
You can be a friend for my friends.
Not just a "girlfriend of mine" who was good at them because you were my girlfriend

Maybe I write all these things above because I really love you deeply and true
I know you're not mine anymore
I don't know how to make this right and I don't have that chance anyway
I just know that letting you go is the biggest mistake in my life
And I will give everything to have you back in my life

Last Letter

That day I came to you suddenly. I didn't plan it before. The timing was right that time. So I went to your work place. Surprised! It was empty! When I saw the announcement paper (also the map) that has been stamped on the fence, I was so in a rush to get in the car and went to your new one.
Before I was arrived there, I sent you a text first and you replied it while I was waiting for you in front of that place. Because it was pending, I decided to call you and tell you about me being there. You came downstairs and met me. I was both so happy and sad at the moment I saw you. My heart felt like it would explode anytime soon. Hugging you was the thing I wanna do most, so I hugged you tight. After you finished your work, you gave me time to chat by asking me to grab a dinner. That night's event was when I told you I wanna wait for you and still love you a lot. But you said that you would feel more comfortable with this kind of situation and relationship now. Just friends, not more than that. You also told me that you've been closed to a guy and how nice he is. And the thing that made me sad more was you were wearing a ring from him. Ironic though. I've just given you a ring after 1.5 years relationship and you already wore his ring even before you start your relationship. Honestly, I was hurt so much and I started to cry because of it. Not because I wanted you to wear mine, but I just felt replaced. Those things really hit me hard but helped me realize at the same time. That was the end of our story and we will never be together again. It's time to say goodbye to you and our love.

Goodbye...

with love

the person who loves you so much

Never Ending Story

Bener ga sih semua cerita ada endingnya? Bener banget. Tapi ada hal yang ga pernah punya akhir. Hal itu namanya kenangan. Dan kadang, kenangan itu bisa membunuh hati gw. Cupu banget ya.. Ga tau deh. Mestinya gw udah ga pernah lagi nulis di blog ini. Karena orang yang inspiring gw di blog ini juga udah ga sama gw. Tapi kenapa gw masih juga kepikiran dia kadang-kadang? Dan hubungan terakhir gw sama dia itu merubah gw banget dengan segala cara pikir gw. Huff, mestinya gw udah selesain semuanya. Tapi tetep aja ada yang nyangkut.

Bingung

Biasanya aku langsung menulis panjang saat patah hati
tapi entah kenapa sekarang semua rasanya tak berarti
Entah mau menulis apa dan kata-kata apa yang mewakili
rasanya kepalaku penuh dan tak tahu harus berbuat apa

Aku kehilangan kamu yang biasanya jadi inspirasi
kehilangan rasanya dibutuhkan seseorang yang istimewa
Jadi semua sekarang tak lagi berguna
Aku jadi sering merasa mengawang-ngawang

Entah kapan akan berakhir